Sex Addiction Assessment:
If the statement accurately describes you or your partner more often than not, answer “yes”.
You lie about little insignificant things regularly and have for years.
You objectify or stare at women in public with sexual thoughts about them
What they say does not match behaviors you are observing.
You are flirty to the point of being inappropriate and always make sexual references to others.
Pornography DVD’s magazines or other explicit material is in their possession.
You drink or use prescribed and/or un-prescribed drugs more than they should. (They might be known at one point as the party guy or party girl or enjoy hanging out with those who are).
You spend time frequenting the same locations and know primarily the opposite sex staff extremely well yet you have no knowledge of these conversations or relationships.
You have unaccountable time during the day or night.
You minimalize going out with the guys to a strip club as being harmless.
You carry hidden amounts of cash, petty cash is missing from the business, or accounts do not balance.
When you ask them about their unaccountable time, money, receipts, or phone records, they become defensive and irritable with you.
They receive calls, emails or texts that are unknown or unfamiliar to you and always have an excuse as to who and why is calling.
They are not pursuing you sexually, not appear to be aroused, or unable to maintain sexual arousal.
If they are willing to be sexual with you, it is often one sided pleasure. The experience is not intimate and connected.
You have observed them or viewed their internet history which indicates use of porn, social media, personal ads, dating site profiles or services on electronic devices. Or, their search history is always cleared or deleted.
Your personal cell phone is always with them, password protected, and they become defensive when you ask to look at their phone. Or they have multiple cell phones.
You regularly masturbate to pornography or sexual fantasies.
You have tried to stop but have not been able to. In fact, porn use and masturbation may be getting more frequent.
You were exposed to pornography at a young age.
You began masturbating as a child and never stopped as an adult.
You were sexually abused or traumatized at a young age.
You have parents who struggled with addiction or addictive behaviors.
You have very poor, if any, self-worth and have a difficult time viewing themselves positively. (Struggles with weight, hygiene, completing tasks over long periods of time.)
You have used social media to seek out past sexual partners or old girlfriends/boyfriends.
You spend a huge amount of time speaking about who they used to be and show very little interest in talking about the present.
Scoring for the assessment:
1-4 points: You may not sexually addicted but may display some traits in need of work or healthier boundaries to better fulfill your role as leader of your marriage and protector and defender of your wife’s heart.
5-8 Points: You may be struggling in the area of sexual addiction I would recommend speaking with Matthew for a more in depth assessment and steps to recovery that will allow you to take control of your life before it implodes.
8-up: You are most likely experiencing being in the grips of a sexual addiction. You probably didn’t even know that this is real and serious. It is It is as real as cocaine, heroin and in some cases to the extreme can be 4-5 times more potent than morphine. Please call our office at (719)-433-3831 for a consultation and list of support groups that will be pivotal in the tools we will give you to overcome this and clean up your eyes, body, mind, and spirit for YOU and for those you love.